Life isn’t fair. Some people are born with good looks, others are born with exceptional talents and skills, and still others are born with massive intelligence. You? Well, you were born with all of those qualities (we know . . . just like us). But what to do with the rest of the world - all those inferior to you? We recommend unleashing the undead. Not a horde or anything that could get out of control, but just a single Zombie to feast on the tiny brains who work around you.

You are in full control of this zombie, don’t worry. Just use the Brain Remote Control and your undead minion will obey your command to shamble forward towards its intended meal. And just to show you how much it likes you, your R/C Zombie will groan as it shuffles, too (press button, he walks and groans; press it again, he stops). To help your zombie, you can also pose its articulated neck, shoulders, and hips. Just keep reminding your zombie that it shouldn’t eat a big brain like yours; it should eat many little brains like those found in your coworkers’ heads. Because studies have shown that many little meals during the day are much better for you than one big meal. Braaaaiiiiins.

SO it has been awhile since I have updated the site, and yes, I am sorry. But I have been collecting information for the masses during the down time. So for your viewing and brain chewing enjoyment see above. The good people at Mingle2.com have seen fit to help out the undead in their pairing off. Or even as far as matching the undead with the living (not recommended). SO have a look see and maybe find your true love.

http://mingle2.com/zombieharmony/free-dating-sites#

p.s. Thanks to Brandon for this one.

If you worry for the sanity of your precious lawn gnomes, please don’t continue reading. This is not for you. Your lawn ornaments will not be happy with this creepy addition to your greenery. Law enforcement might not be too happy with this either. There is sure to be some unwanted calls to the police about the corpse which is seemingly emerging from your garden.

The Garden Zombie is not for the faint of heart. It will scare the hell out all of the other doodads you have lying around your grass. Created by British artist Alan Dickinson for Toscano design, the Garden Zombie would be an awesome addition to your exterior decor for the Halloween season or just simply a way to scare those damn kids off your lawn.

The morbid land ornament is so realistic that people might think that the zombies are finally attacking. Tired of their underground prison. Lucky for us, the zombie is indeed just a sculpture, no matter how realistic the life-sized gray-toned Garden Zombie looks.

The Garden Zombie ships in three pieces, measuring 31½” x 19½ Dx 8″ and weighing 13 pounds is available for purchase for around $90. It’s a little pricey for something you place outside in your garden, but it might just be worth the peace and quiet, not to mention the looks you get from neighbors.

Buy it here.